Building a mystery

I am probably doing a major blogging no-no right now, but I am using a very good friend's recent emotions to propel this blog.  No, I did not ask her permission, and this is why....I have been exactly where she is.  EXACTLY.  And I have struggled with the same emotions, and many more because I am an extremely emotional person. 
Believers know that the mere Presence of God is an amazing thing to experience.  You can be in a room with a million, a hundred, or just one, and the effect is always the same.  You close your eyes and suddenly you are taken to another world.  The world where nothing hurts, you feel so comfortable, your heart is so full, you are sure its going to explode with joy.  You are also sure nothing will ever change the way you feel in that moment.  The peace is so strong, the fire in your spirit is burning so bright.  Awesome...that's the only word to explain.  Awesome. 
What happens next, you open your eyes, only to have that moment gone.  The wind of the Holy Spirit has descended upon you, and just as quickly as it came, it has blown to the next person in order for them to experience what you just have.  And as you take your next step, you understand reality is back...the same reality you had before the Holy Spirit came.  Only now, you don't want to go back.  You want to stay....stay where it seems to be easy.  And as your day goes on, you become more and more frustrated with the things of this world.  And it makes you mad.  REally mad.  Suddenly you become so convicted for despising the very thing we love...our life.  We feel guilty and sad because we don't want to be where we are.  We want to be where He is. 
God is such a mystery to us all.  And He only allows us to know what He wants us to know.  So when we receive that beautiful brush of wind caused by the Holy Spirit, we are experiencing just a touch of Heaven...and we want to stay there forever.  And He knew that would be our reaction.  It's not a suprise to Him that we want to be near Him.  It's not a suprise that we don't want to go back to everything we love.  But what would we be doing for God's kingdom if we stood there in the moment forever?  He gave us that moment for a purpose.  He let us experience that breath of Heaven so we can know what it feels like to be by His side.  And then He sent us out into the world.  To be a light shining so fresh and bright to all...
However, it takes us just a bit to get over ourselves.  To get over the selfishness of wanting to be there with Him...and not to discount the LOVE we have for our family and friends.  We don't want to be away from them at all.  We just want to be with Him and with them.  In other words, we want to have our cake and eat it too.  It just seemed so much easier in that moment.  But the truth is that we can have both.  If we choose to live our lives for the kingdom of Heaven....doing all the good we can for all the people we can, that is having your cake and eating it too.  We don't have the capacity to do it ourselves, so we must rely on our source of strength, our rock to get us there.  And that is living in the presence of God.  Giving a stranger directions to somewhere, putting a check in the offering plate, helping with a Sunday School class, taking care of our families(yes, I went there), they are all things that our flesh does not want us to accomplish.  And so by the grace of God, He has helped get us there. 
As for that encounter with the Holy Spirit, I am thankful for each one that I have had, and will have.  They are amazing....breath taking...Godly.  But they're purpose is for so much more than making us feel good.  It's like recharging our batteries, only we don't know it.  And sorting out the feelings that come out when we are touched like that is so difficult...it truly is a mystery, which makes is somewhat frustrating.  But we become thankful we had that moment, and we get ready to face this world.  Because someday, we will feel that again, and then, we will never have to leave.