There is a difference between hearing and listening. And I believe this is the basis of much conflict. Being heard is important...its the actual physical act of hearing. The job your ears do...sounds waves enter the ear canal and then it follows the pathway to your brain. We hear sounds all day long. But listening....that is something completely different....entirely. When that sound enters your brain, how do we interpret it? Do we comprehend what we heard? Do we understand what we heard? I think many times just because people are capable of hearing, they believe they are actually listening. And there lies the problem. You heard me....but do you understand me?
Many, including myself have a fear of not being understood or being misunderstood. Because it is much easier to love the things we understand. It is much easier NOT to judge the things we understand. When you understand, there is no fear of the unknown....we understand it. We get it. You hear...you listen...you comprehend...you understand. Seems simple. But there are so many things that can go wrong on that short little journey. Our own wants and needs jump in the path. Our beliefs, our values, our issues, our feelings. They all serve as road blocks to reaching that seemingly simple end...understanding. And that's when conflict seems to arise. We raise our voices...as if speaking louder will help the other comprehend better. I am fairly certain that decibel level has nothing to do with comprehension. Nor do harsh words or foul language. In fact, I do feel fairly certain that the louder and cruder we become, the less understanding takes place. Now it may make us feel better! Becoming louder and meaner certainly does give us a sense of control in a situation where we feel helpless and frustrated....but I don't believe it aids the other person in gaining any amount of understanding. So what in the world do we do when we aren't listened to? Well, I have feelings, and hormones, and beliefs, and values, AND issues....so I don't know. I know how it feels to not be understood, so I take that and apply the "treat others the way you want to be treated" rule. I try and listen to everyone who has a voice. Whether I agree or not, I try to understand. It's not my place to judge. But I can't control everyone else. Just myself. So good luck....if you figure out a way to remove all the road blocks from hearing to listening...let me know. Thanks.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Your worries will never love you....
We've all had difficult weeks. And we all know how hard it is to take that giant leap back into reality when we do. It's hard to let go of the chaos and busyness. Or the grief and the pain. Or whatever it was that caused that week to be so tough. It's hard to get back into the "swing" of things. We feel that we need just a bit more time to recover from that week.
We had a week last week....and boy did we. Death, busyness, illness....you name it...there it was. All in 7 measley days. Doesn't seem like a long time, but when you throw things like death and busyness and sickness in there....I am not actually sure if it makes time go faster....or more slowly. But what does seem to happen during weeks such as those is you find out what people are made of. You see their true colors come shining through. You see strength....you see weakness...people show up to support...and people disappear. And there are questions....many, many questions that are lingering. And they will continue to linger.....for days....for weeks....for months, I am sure.
The funny thing is, the parts of the week that should have been the hardest, were the easiest, and vice versa. I am left once again knowing that this world is not my home, and nothing on this earth can bring me any kind of lasting peace or joy. My world was shaken up...like a blender on high speed. And its so funny....I look back at some of the events that occured previous to this week...oh how I love hindsight. I really do. Things just seem to line up so well. There were things being spoken to me...wispered ever so quietly. And while I thought they pertained to a certain subject or person, that week needed to happen for me to fully understand who those words were actually meant for. Not that it makes it any easier for my human mind to deal with, it does make it understandable. I still don't know how to pick any of the pieces up and put them back in some sort of functioning order. That will take time...lots of it. And worrying...wondering about when those answers will come is just a horrible waste of time.
In the aftermath of this week, more words were spoken to me...words written through a song. But a beautiful explanation of feelings.
O My Soul by Audrey Assad
Rivers and stones and the trees of the field, they sing in the night
And a thousand tongues lay deep in your lungs to raise to the sky
don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.
Deep in your heart you feather and tar your folly and fear:
expose them for the fools they are, and the world comes clear.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.
Your worries will never love you
They'll leave you all alone
But your God will not forsake you
O my soul.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul-love your God.
Here's to a week....not sure what this week will bring, but I pray its full of blessing, and answers if He see's fit. If not, they will come...and I will rest upon that.
We had a week last week....and boy did we. Death, busyness, illness....you name it...there it was. All in 7 measley days. Doesn't seem like a long time, but when you throw things like death and busyness and sickness in there....I am not actually sure if it makes time go faster....or more slowly. But what does seem to happen during weeks such as those is you find out what people are made of. You see their true colors come shining through. You see strength....you see weakness...people show up to support...and people disappear. And there are questions....many, many questions that are lingering. And they will continue to linger.....for days....for weeks....for months, I am sure.
The funny thing is, the parts of the week that should have been the hardest, were the easiest, and vice versa. I am left once again knowing that this world is not my home, and nothing on this earth can bring me any kind of lasting peace or joy. My world was shaken up...like a blender on high speed. And its so funny....I look back at some of the events that occured previous to this week...oh how I love hindsight. I really do. Things just seem to line up so well. There were things being spoken to me...wispered ever so quietly. And while I thought they pertained to a certain subject or person, that week needed to happen for me to fully understand who those words were actually meant for. Not that it makes it any easier for my human mind to deal with, it does make it understandable. I still don't know how to pick any of the pieces up and put them back in some sort of functioning order. That will take time...lots of it. And worrying...wondering about when those answers will come is just a horrible waste of time.
In the aftermath of this week, more words were spoken to me...words written through a song. But a beautiful explanation of feelings.
O My Soul by Audrey Assad
Rivers and stones and the trees of the field, they sing in the night
And a thousand tongues lay deep in your lungs to raise to the sky
don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.
Deep in your heart you feather and tar your folly and fear:
expose them for the fools they are, and the world comes clear.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.
Your worries will never love you
They'll leave you all alone
But your God will not forsake you
O my soul.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul-love your God.
Here's to a week....not sure what this week will bring, but I pray its full of blessing, and answers if He see's fit. If not, they will come...and I will rest upon that.
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