Your worries will never love you....

We've all had difficult weeks.  And we all know how hard it is to take that giant leap back into reality when we do.  It's hard to let go of the chaos and busyness.  Or the grief and the pain.  Or whatever it was that caused that week to be so tough.  It's hard to get back into the "swing" of things.  We feel that we need just a bit more time to recover from that week. 
We had a week last week....and boy did we.  Death, busyness, illness....you name it...there it was.  All in 7 measley days.  Doesn't seem like a long time, but when you throw things like death and busyness and sickness in there....I am not actually sure if it makes time go faster....or more slowly.  But what does seem to happen during weeks such as those is you find out what people are made of.  You see their true colors come shining through.  You see strength....you see weakness...people show up to support...and people disappear.  And there are questions....many, many questions that are lingering.  And they will continue to linger.....for days....for weeks....for months, I am sure. 
The funny thing is, the parts of the week that should have been the hardest, were the easiest, and vice versa.  I am left once again knowing that this world is not my home, and nothing on this earth can bring me any kind of lasting peace or joy.  My world was shaken up...like a blender on high speed.  And its so funny....I look back at some of the events that occured previous to this week...oh how I love hindsight.  I really do.  Things just seem to line up so well.  There were things being spoken to me...wispered ever so quietly.  And while I thought they pertained to a certain subject or person, that week needed to happen for me to fully understand who those words were actually meant for.  Not that it makes it any easier for my human mind to deal with, it does make it understandable.  I still don't know how to pick any of the pieces up and put them back in some sort of functioning order.  That will take time...lots of it.  And worrying...wondering about when those answers will come is just a horrible waste of time. 
In the aftermath of this week, more words were spoken to me...words written through a song.  But a beautiful explanation of feelings.

O My Soul by Audrey Assad

Rivers and stones and the trees of the field, they sing in the night
And a thousand tongues lay deep in your lungs to raise to the sky
don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.

Deep in your heart you feather and tar your folly and fear:
expose them for the fools they are, and the world comes clear.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul—love your God.

Your worries will never love you
They'll leave you all alone
But your God will not forsake you
O my soul.
Don't lie to yourself, o my soul-love your God.

Here's to a week....not sure what this week will bring, but I pray its full of blessing, and answers if He see's fit.  If not, they will come...and I will rest upon that.